"Do not depend on anyone or anything to make you happy".  The first time I heard that from my Psychiatrist I thought not only was I wasting my time, but my money as well. I now trust that she had an insight into human nature far deeper than I would ever have. It was 1977 and Lee told me that it is far to much responsibility for any one person to be the provider of my happiness, and extremely selfish of me to expect someone else (or something else) to provide the means to make me happy. Oh...expectations...the means to disappointment...the end result of expecting to much.  Wow...that pearl should make a GREAT ring all by itself...don't you think?!

All these years later, I still try to practice what I learned so long ago. The pressure and stress of providing to those we love their happiness or what we believed would make them happy created the multi-tasking, can't do enough, not good enough mentality that we struggle with each day. Admit it now...when was the last time you didn't feel a twinge of disappointment at a party or holiday gathering when what you "expected" didn't happen?  Certainly the term "Holiday Blues" was coined as a result of feeling let down.

So as Lee told me, quit putting your happiness in the hands of others...make yourself happy. Unselfishly do what makes you feel better about the world around you...whatever that is. Volunteer to help others, cook, sew, clean, garden, whatever makes you feel good. In turn that makes others feel good as well when they see you happy...it is a rolling stone.  Oh and stop taking the weight of others happiness on your shoulders...that shoe doesn't fit either!!!

What makes you feel good? As for me, cooking is a great outlet. Gardening is extremely relaxing (unless I come across a nest of ants!) and sewing is an incredible escape into a very wonderful world of creativity.

And I'm sure you have all heard this before, but it is worth repeating: "We usually say what we need to hear most".  Pay attention to what you are saying to others...it just might be what you need to hear yourself!

Chili is on the agenda today...getting the boys ready to go deer hunting. The smell of onions sauteing fills the kitchen, and a little trip to the garden to pluck a few jalapeno peppers should really make the difference!!  Use that base sauce recipe and add the love of outdoors to flavor it for the chili.

Tomorrow, the apple pie and the story that started it all.

Until then, hugs!

Mama Turner